First-time sex should really come with an instruction manual, tbh.
We've been getting a lot of great questions about first-time sex at sexqs@buzzfeed.com (the official BuzzFeed Sex Q&A email address, FYI), so we put together a primer for anyone who's curious, confused, or wondering what to expect. The following pieces of advice are meant to apply to all cisgener and transgender individuals — regardless of your age, sexual orientation, or gender identity. That said, not every tip might apply to every person. Have more advice you'd like to share with the class? Go ahead and post it in the comments.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed
Losing your virginity isn’t just P in the V.
"Theres no universal consensus on what behaviors constitute having sex," relationship and sex expert Kristen Mark, Ph.D., tells BuzzFeed Life. Not to mention, the notion of "'virginity' is very heterocentric. It really excludes a large number of people who may consider themselves as having lost their virginity, but that definition is going to be very different for them." So losing your v card might involve penetration, or it might involve anal sex, oral sex, manual stimulation, dildos, whatever. There's no rule that your first time has to meet a specific set of criteria.
That whole “popping the cherry” thing is mostly a myth.
Not every vagina bleeds like a stab wound the first time you have sex. "Some women don't notice any bleeding at all, but it is true that some women bleed a lot," sex researcher Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of Because It Feels Good, tells BuzzFeed Life. This comes from tearing the hymen, which is basically just tissue inside the vagina. All women have different amounts of hymenal tissue, and in rare cases they aren't born with any. There's really no way to predict how much you'll bleed, so...maybe keep a light on, suggests Herbenick.
Warner Bros / Via changchens.tumblr.com