Let’s have an honest discussion about sex with a smaller-than-average guy.
Welcome to the new BuzzFeed Sex Q&A where you can ask us your awkward, confusing, gross, embarrassing, or thought-provoking questions, and we'll provide answers from leading sexual health experts. Have a question about sex or sexual health? Send it to sexQs@buzzfeed.com.
This week's question:
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed
Q: Hey,
I'm just going to dive right in here. I recently started seeing someone new, after getting out of a lengthy relationship. This guy is perfect, he's everything I have been looking for in a relationship. A few nights ago, things started getting a little hot and heavy, and we ended up in his bedroom. The sexual tension between the two of us was huge. I had never wanted to jump someone's bones so bad. Things were moving pretty fast; actually so fast that we skipped most of the foreplay and he was on top of me before I knew it. I had been anticipating this moment for so long, until I saw what I was working with: an extremely small penis.
I haven't had many sexual partners, but I seem to have lucked out in the "man junk" department. This situation was totally new to me. I have never faked an orgasm like that in my life. Now, I am terrified to get in bed with him again. How do I handle his small member without ruining our sex life?
Sincerely,
Frustrated Girlfriend
Hi, Frustrated Girlfriend! Thanks for sending your question. To help answer it, we spoke with sex expert Laura Berman, Ph.D., author of Loving Sex, and sex researcher Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of The Coregasm Workout. Here's what they had to say:
Despite all those myths and stereotypes, penis size is not the be-all and end-all of sexual satisfaction.
Let's get this out of the way first: Penis size isn't everything when it comes to sex. For some people, it may be a total non-issue. That's because not everyone relies on penetration for sexual satisfaction, and actually, most women don't orgasm from penetration alone anyways, says Berman.
That said, it's normal to be a little caught off guard if all of your previous sexual partners have been pretty similar, anatomically speaking, and this partner was smaller than average. And if you're used to being with a well-endowed dude, that just might be your sexual preference — and there's nothing wrong with that either. One study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women who have more vaginal orgasms (rather than clitoral ones) actually do prefer larger penises, probably because they enjoy penetration more.
So here's the thing: You don't need a bigger penis to have all of the orgasms, but it is a sexual preference just like anything else. Luckily, it sounds like his size isn't a deal breaker and you want to be as sensitive as possible while still making sure you both have a great, fulfilling sex life, which is awesome by the way.
Comedy Central / Via buzzfeed.com