Life is hard. Maybe wear a cup.
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You broke your penis.
Okay, so there isn't a bone in your penis, but you can fracture it. This happens when there's a tear in the part of the penis called the tunica albuginea. When it happens (typically during sex), you'll notice a loud popping sound and an immediate loss of your erection. Get to the emergency room ASAP, because studies show that the outcomes are better if you're seen within the first 24 hours. Here's more info on how not to break your penis.
Your boner won't cooperate after a few drinks.
Too much alcohol can make it harder for you to get an erection, keep an erection, or ejaculate, Dr. Harry Fisch, clinical professor of urology and reproductive medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College, tells BuzzFeed Life. It's most likely because alcohol acts as a depressant that dulls your senses (including your penile senses). So if you plan on using your penis later, set an alcohol limit early on in the night.
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You notice blood in your semen.
Okay, try not to freak out. This is called hematospermia or hemospermia and it's usually not cancer, says Fisch. This could be a one-time thing or a persistent problem, and while it usually goes away on its own, you probably want to check with a doctor if it continues.
"Blood in the semen almost always has a benign cause," Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, director of Men's Health Boston and associate clinical professor of urology at Harvard Medical School, tells BuzzFeed Life. It could be from inflammation or infection in the prostate or seminal vesicles, stones in the ejaculatory ducts, or a whole list of other things. Sometimes doctors can't figure out the precise cause, but it's often nothing major, says Morgentaler. That said, if you're seeing blood in your urine, definitely get that checked out since it might be something more serious.