I meant to post yesterday but I was, yet again locked out of my site. I’m so over the security and server admin stuff.
Ugh.
Anyway, I’m moving on and adding to the post I wrote yesterday so bear with me as this is going to be a lot of rambling.
I’ll start with Thursday when I took the day off.
Completely off.
As in autoresponder-on-laptop-off-out-of-the-office off.
Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I’ve done that mid-week. I’ve been getting better on weekends but I still have a hard time walking completely away. Even when I’m on vacation I rarely disconnect 100%. I always have my eye on my inbox, replying to emails and I normally post on at least one of the blogs.
I decided it was time to treat myself the same way I would a friend and I would definitely tell a friend she needed a break.
Basically I pulled a Ferris. Except when I went to the baseball game it rained.
That’s me and my friend Heather. We had a date in the city to celebrate one of my other friend’s graduation. The game may have been a bust but we salvaged it by hanging out in the city and just chatting.
It was exactly what I needed. I came home totally refreshed, hung out with the kids and fell asleep watching something on the DVR. Honestly, I can’t even remember.
Friday morning it was back to the grind and I had a super-busy, productive day! Of course it started with the gym and then my walk to Evan’s school. On the way home from the walk I spied this in a store window…
It made me smile (#wycwyc)
The rest of Friday was spent (I refuse to say “playing catchup”) getting $hit done! I had three pretty big FitBloggin‘ calls, more site security stuff to research, a new recipe to share, and lots of email to reply to.
I felt really accomplished and excited. Especially after my call with Jumpsport who’s sponsoring the conference this year. We are planning a HUGE evening event with trampolines, a photo booth and a LL Cool J style Lip Sync battle!
How fun is that?!
I’m not sure I shared this here on the blog but this is my last FitBloggin’ conference as head honcho. With the blogs, book promotion and #wycwyc community building I was finding myself pulled in too many directions. I decided it was time to move on and I found a company who was willing to take over all the logistical planning after this year.
This is my last chance to make FitBloggin’ something really special (again — of course it’s always special!) because I won’t be responsible for it next year.
Walking away from FitBloggin’ was one of the hardest business decisions of my career. I don’t think I’ve ever had to struggle with more opposing feelings in my life. I was sad yet relieved. Nervous I would let everyone down yet confident I was doing the right thing.
I can only imagine this is a less emotional version (albeit still really emotional for me!) of seeing your child off to college. I created FitBloggin’ from nothing. I watched it and its community grow over the years. It matured right in front of my eyes from an idea to bring health and fitness bloggers together in Baltimore to an amazing 3 day event that traveled around the country. The sponsor support the last few years has been nothing short of amazing. I mean look at this year’s sponsor list! All these amazing brands are helping me make it happen one last time.
Since I started blogging ohh….. 10 YEARS AGO (blows my mind) I’ve battled a LOT of self doubt — heck, I’ve always battled it — but you know what?
I’m doing alright.
@CPAGrrrl posted this to twitter and it really resonated with me.
I’ve come to the conclusion that the only person I’ve ever battled was myself in almost all areas of my life. For some reason I always thought I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or thin enough to be something special.
But I’ve come to a conclusion…
No one is special.
Sure, some folks have talents or are better at certain things than others but that guarnetees nothing in life unless you are willing to work and have the confidence to put yourself out there. No matter what you are trying to accomplish.
I have doubted everything I’ve ever done but a few years ago I stopped letting that doubt hold me back. Why can’t I share recipes online? Or start a conference? Or run a race? Or write a children’s book? Or be an athlete? Or travel more? Or publish a book?
Why can’t you do the things you want to do? Are you battling yourself?
The Husband and I have been talking a lot about this lately as we have two completely different outlooks on life. I am really driven to DO things. I want to be creative and live a life full of adventure and unknowns. I enjoy a challenge and I thrive off of accomplishing things.
He does not.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. We are just different. I could never be happy staying static. It’s not in my nature.
Take this morning at my Mom’s for example. The kids were up at 5:30 a.m. I could hear them giggling and talking downstairs. The cousins were excited to see each other and even though part of me wanted to wring there little necks and go back to sleep I took a deep breath and went downstairs.
After about a half an hour of me shushing them because everyone else was sleeping I finally told them to get shoes on. Why not take them for a walk?
We bundled up, hit Burger King for some cinnamon buns and then headed to the River Walk.
The kids had a blast exploring and throwing rocks in the river.
And I had fun watching the 3 cousins interact.
It was a little chilly but a beautiful morning!
I tried to turn a typical, kind-of frustrating, morning into an adventure. We walked around my hometown for about an hour and half not doing anything that special but it was better than trying to keep them quiet while cursing The Husband that he has the ability to sleep through it all.
I’ve been doing more and more stuff like this over the years. Looking for small opportunities to seize. Trying new stuff. Letting myself get dirty. Basically… putting on my big-girl panties and pushing past my self-doubt, laziness and fears. It may seem silly from the outside but even things like taking a day off or going to bed knowing my server crashed and there was nothing I could do about it are little battles I’ve been winning against myself.
I’m not sure if I’m capturing this feeling or mindset correctly. It feels hard to express yet important to share.
If that makes any sense.
On that note I think it’s time to go. This post is way longer than I anticipated.
Have a great Memorial Day Weekend! I’m off to hang out with Mom and the kids. :)
~*~*~
Up to date journals. I’m going to try to keep them through the weekend too.
Thursday Food Journal — No times – It was a weird day.
- Pancakes and bacon at my friend’s house
- Light Beer at the game
- Split a cheesesteak and some wings with a friend
- Cheese, crackers and dried cranberries with the kids when I got home
- Reece’s peanut butter cup <– I was craving sweet something fierce!
Friday Food Journal
- 7:30 a.m. Grapefruit juice — trying for a brand that may sponsor FitBloggin!
- 8:30 a.m. Egg salad in Bell Pepper Cups — new recipe! Click here!
- 11:30 a.m. 2 leftover pieces of grilled chicken. I had a few calls lined up and I knew lunch would late.
- 2 p.m. My late lunch — smoked turkey, sausage link, cole slaw and corn bread
- 6-10 pm Dinner and car ride snacks on the way to mom’s was a salad with chicken, salsa and guac, a few tutor tots and onion rings Ryan shared with me and some kettle corn.
- 11 p.m. 2 twizzlers — I don’t know why. They were there.
Thursday Activity Journal
- 6 a.m. Workout — It was long workout day and my body wasn’t having it. We’ve changed the strength program at the gym and I’ve been sore all week so I decided to just work on my double unders. I have a goal to do 10-20-30-40-50-40-30-20-10 unbroken. I was able to do 10 then the 20 then the 30! It took me 2 tries to get the 40 and about 6 tries to get the 50. After that I was done. That was a lot of jump roping! The rest of glass I just stretched.
Friday Activity Journal
- 6 a.m. Workout – Warm up was 400m run, back extensions, burpees and stretching.
Dead lift (Clean grip)
10 @ 33 lbs
10 @ 83 lbs
5 @ 103 lbs
10 @ 123 lbs
5 @ 143 lbs
10 @ 163 lbs
10 @ 173 lbs
10 @ 148 lbs
10 @ 148 lbs
Workout was a clean ladder increasing 1 ever minute at 95 lbs. I made it to 9. So in essence I did 45 cleans at 95 lbs. (note: 2 years ago 95 lbs was my 1 rep MAX and I thought I would never, EVER be able to do it.) - 9 a.m. 2 mile walk to Evan’s school and back.